Dear Lujin
The girl whom I took her name by a chance and brought her to life.
A year has passed since you said you won’t stand here for one month!.
A year has passed since you graduated from a simulation of reality falling into the reality itself, just like a bubble that blows you away in a world full of unknowings and uncertainty.
I know it will take you a quite long time to weigh the frustration that this reality leaves behind in you.
Never knew that an uncontracted job might leave you with what will be contracted to you for a life-time!.
A job offer with two different identities might also leave you with two different mindsets, two different languages and two different personalities!.
It’s easy to get swept up in this world, Through the hours you lose yourself into trying to catch those moments that you will eventually find yourself in, those moments that you know that you had made an achievement, when you realize that you finally had done something right!
Running in those moments, you have met different feelings
Crying in the toilet when you just can’t deal with it anymore!
The thrill of receiving you first call!
The sadness in saying goodbyes!
The excitement of your first achievement!
The frustration of each one of your stupid mistakes!
The smile that is drown spontaneously on your face when a funny vivid memory flashes before your eye or a hidden silly movie comment struck your mind once a situation sounds a familiar!
And unwillingly you came to understand that…
Enemies are bad, but enemies in shape of friends are the worst of all!
And Most of All, the fact that in a world full of private institutions that speaks nothing but money and business…
No Matter how good you are.. You can always be replaced!
Day by day, week by week, month by month…
Unconsciously, you will lose yourself in days and days will lose itself in you. Sometimes, you will even lose touch with yourself.. with your own heart, wondering if you would ever get it back once more. It’s quite bound to become easily noticeable how tangled it is, enough for you to lose your compass, every compass, any compass. The electric current that there is, here and there, on and off, is too insane for any magnetic north to withstand. It’s okay. People get confused. People misunderstand. And crack, accordingly.
You soon realize it won’t be too long before you wake up one day asking yourself what the hell I have been doing all these years?!
It’s scary to feel so out of control of a huge part of your life!
I know that the world feels so big and you feel completely alone!
I know you would give absolutely anything to change this!
I need to tell you this now. I really hope you understand it soon enough. And I pray you remember it often..
Life makes little sense and the more we grow the less sense it will make!
So, Make sure you live for what it is worth. It is never too late to be whoever you wanna be. There is no time limit. Start whenever you want. You can change or stay the same. There is no rules to this thing. We can make the best of our time. I hope you make the best of it. I hope you see things that stun you. I hope you feel things you never felt before. I hope you meet people with different point of views. I hope you live life you are proud of. If you find that you are not. I hope you have the strength to start all over again.